More than one year

Hahaha! I'm not really made for blogging. Imagine, my latest post was 14 months ago. Well, I wasn't really going to write any entries, it was just that I passed by someone's livejournal. It is those times when you want to find out about some individual that you think is interesting and at the same time, mysterious. This site really has a pretty powerful search engine. "Akalain mo nga naman, isang keyword lang nakita ko na hinahanap ko." Now whose livejournal I stumbled upon?

Well she's very different from any other individual. She radiates the kind of aura that you would feel when you are on the shores of an isolated beach, witnessing the most spectacular but silent scene of sunset. Slow but graceful, that never ceases to amaze anybody. You can look at it more than once and yet the emotion never wanes down. It's just sad that almost all her entries revolved around two things: sadness and loneliness. I wish we had more common ground to talk about, but the only thing that I can speak of that makes her laugh is about the guy that she really likes that, by the way, has already offered his heart and soul to a different woman.

Double-Edged

Me Una Entrada

This has been one of the most exhausting semesters that I have encountered. I have taken lots of commitments way beyond my threshold. Well, its a goodway to avoid thinking about other things when they are already getting way out of control. I know that such measures are not the right choices, but I can't help it. Things just got way out of hand and I don't know how I'm going to handle them. I just want to go. Run from it. I don't want to face it. Because Im so terrified of what might happen, of what I might lose. Even though I think I've already lost a lot. I don't want to think anymore. It's robbing me of my time that I could use in other things. I can't concentrate. I can't concentrate. I can't study. I would like to blame the person responsible though I was the one that started and did this to myself.

What have I done!? I just cared. I didn't expect to get too emotionally involved. As a matter of fact I was keeping my distance. I was afraid, terrified, mortified of what might happen. Even though I was... no... ,not was but still, enjoying every thing that happened. Every moment that passed and passes never gets forgotten. I would like to forget though I know I never will. Because I saw something different. Something unique that still makes me want to hold on even though "my friends keep telling me that if I really lover I've gotta set her free." Baduy!? Oh well.

I just don't know what to do. I've thought about every situation that I can think of, and I always arrive in a conclusion and solution that I know i'm not capable of. I need to change. I really need to change just to fix this. I like her so much. Please... I already know that I don't deserve a person such as her. I even feel that Im not fit to be near her. My feet trembled when I talked to her. My voice shivered at each statement I let out. My pulse raced when she held my hand. Everything just felt different, something I never expected. But such things would take too long to tell.